August 15, 2008

How Do You Know He's 'The One'?

Excerpt from the Single Black Woman's Guide to Christian Dating - How Do You Know He's 'The One'?:

We've all met the seemingly perfect man: he opens doors for you and he's polite and courteous. He has a well-paying job, he's truthful, open and honest. He takes you out to dinner and doesn't expect anything in return and makes all the right noises about his interest in being committed. You get along great, you're thinking about introducing him to your parents and, then, he changes on you! He goes from calling you five times a day to 'just say hello' to sounding peeved when you call because he's 'trying to work' (not that he’s changed jobs or anything, he’s just all of a sudden too busy to want to talk). Or you hit date five and he doesn’t understand why you’re not giving him any loving. In other words, you meet someone who initially sounds great, but then he starts sending mixed signals.

So, how can you tell when you've really picked the right guy?

Read on:

He doesn't overwhelm you with affection right off the bat.

Yes, we all want to be swept off our feet, but steer far clear of men who want to marry you by Date 2. If he were really so anxious to be married, don't you think he would be by now? Now, I'm not saying that all men are like this, but, most men who start out very intensely burn out very quickly. After all, you don't think you are the only one he's ever been that crazy about, do you? Settle instead for someone who calls, texts or emails you a reasonable number of times. And one who has reasonable expectations of your relationship. Allow your relationship to begin at a slower pace and develop naturally - this will help it to last.


 

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You Attract What You Are

Excerpt from the Single Black Woman's Guide to Christian Dating - 'You Attract What You Are':

Okay - here is one of my pet peeves.  I will hear a woman say how she’d like to meet a tall, handsome man, with a good job and a good education.  And he should love children and get along with his mom and be spiritual and, you know, just  fill in the blanks (think: perfect).  And I will take a look at her and she is still living with her mom, working at McDonald’s, taking the bus to work and only going to church to catch herself a ‘good’ man.  (Not that there’s anything with working at McDonald’s or catching the bus or even living with your mom.)  My point is that I always want to turn to this woman and say, What do you have to offer?

Why, oh, why do we think we can attract a ‘perfect’ man when we are so far from it?  Why do we never think of the fly in the ointment (which is sure to come) as we detail how tall he should be, what type of school he should have attended and what type of car he be driving. This fantasy description simply begs the question: are you kidding me?

So let me ask you (and maybe you should ask yourself) - What do you have to offer this gorgeous, spiritual man you’d like to come into your life?  What kind of car are you driving?  Where did you attend school?  How is your spirituality? Heck, what’s your credit score like? No, I don’t think you have to be rich, gorgeous or a size 2 to attract a man, but I think we sometimes need to take a good hard look at ourselves before we advertise for this ‘perfect’ one.

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August 09, 2008

The Book: The Single Black Woman's Guide to Christian Dating

$12.99 Print
$5.99 E-book Download

From the Single Black Woman's Guide to Christian Dating...

The dating experience can really be something else. For every tale of happily ever after are two or three filled with delay, dilemma and denial. It’s hard to meet the right guy or even to tell sometimes if the guy you are seeing is the right one for you. Not to mention your own challenges with controlling your flesh, keeping spiritually connected, work, school, children…shall I go on? Wouldn’t you just like to know that you know that everything is going to be alright? Well, it is. And I can say that assuredly because if you are reading this book, you are most likely already connected with God. And, with God, ‘all things are possible.’ Even faith in the dating outcome. Even peace. Even contentment while being single. This book will help you navigate the sometimes troubled waters of the Christian dating scene, give you hope and increase your spiritual connection to God. For the African-American woman or anyone interested in getting real-life advice about the dating scene.

Click here to read a preview of the book or to order your copy today!

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